A Prayer for Oklahoma

There are times during tragedies and disasters we are at a loss for words. Even so, we know praying is THE thing to do.  If you are in this space, here is a prayer you can pray with your children for the citizens of Oklahoma City.

Father,
You never slumber. Thank you that you brought hope and life out of the rubble during the night. Thank you for the courage and compassion of the first responders, rescuers, volunteers, and teachers. We pray for those who have family members still missing. We know you are in the business of finding the lost. We ask for comfort those who have lost loved ones.  You are the Great comforter, full of compassion, abounding in love. You are our provider and protector. We pray for those who have been displaced and lost their homes. Be with them.Only you could reduce the death toll. You are the miracle worker, our friend, our daddy, king, and savior.

Amen

Oklahoma ...God is for you. God is with you. You are not alone.

Faith, hope, and love,

Lori  & Becky
And the 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting Team

My help comes from the LORD the maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:2

Eternal Moments friends,

This prayer is  published today at my other site as well http://www.1Corinthians13Parenting.com

~Lori

The Battle of the Bowl

So...what's wrong with this picture? I guess I should be thankful, at least the roll is within reach. I suppose if a box of tissue had been nearby the toilet paper may not have even made it to the counter. 

So here's the big question, do you prefer the forward drop or the backward flap? I've tried both. The backward drop seems to make sense. The paper hangs straight down. No chance of getting twisted. But..the forward flap shows the design. It also seems to be the way hotels handle tissue. Hmmm. That must be the proper way. Anyway...

Lately, I don't care. I'm happy if the roll makes it on the springy-thingy. 

Moms, have you noticed…we are the end of the line when it comes to household management. We get the stuff, organize the stuff, toss the stuff, and donate the stuff. We also locate the stuff.

Why is it that I know where my daughter’s earrings, my son’s shoes, and husband’s wallet are? I don’t know but… I do know. And ....husbands, you know I'm right. Your wife is the go-to-person to find missing items, isn't she? 

 I remember thinking at my own wedding shower (over thirty years ago! YIKES) that once I got married my soup and salad days would be over. Okay... so I would be the sue-chef but  I had not realized I would also be the one in charge of all the stuff.

“Mom, we need more cereal.”

“Mom, did you know we are out of milk?”

So I have come to terms with being the Stuff Manager. I’ve decided it isn’t such a bad role. I love caring for my family. In fact, I'm looking forward to this summer. I'll have my college kids at home. And my managerial skills will come in quite handy. 

As far as the toilet roll goes, I am able to Let. It. Go. (so to speak)  I have a choice. I can fight the natural system-or lack thereof- or I can just place the roll on the roller- any which way. This summer, I’m choosing to pick my battles. And toilet paper isn’t going to be one. 

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family" Proverbs 31:15a-b

What battles have you decided not to fight?

Grover Defines Marriage

When my son was in first grade, he came to me for some confirmation,"Mom, two girls can't get married, right?" The topic on the school bus was same sex marriage. That talk didn't occur recently. This took place seventeen or so years ago. Today that type of conversation has seeped into the fabric of our lives-everywhere we go.

Last week, I took two of my three girls out to lunch. The two family bookends, as my oldest likes to say. My oldest child, at 25 years of age, is in a same sex relationship. (In case you are wondering... Yes, we brought her up with traditional values.Yes, this is painful for me. And yes... I  love my child.) She wears a rainbow ring to signify her sexuality or in support of gay rights (I'm not exactly sure).  Maybe both. Anyway...

The waitress serving us tapped her ring and said that she and her wife were on the local news station the other night. At the time of writing this blog, the Colorado governor had just signed the same sex civil union bill.

Today I jumped on Facebook and came across this YouTube video. The video was posted four years ago but it is recirculating. Take a few minutes and watch this.

After watching this, do you think Sesame Street had an agenda or was conveying a subtle message? Do you think this is cute and harmless or dangerous and smells of indoctrination? What is your definition of marriage?

The world's voice is not only loud, it is constant. My young adult has embraced society's view. Even so, her dad and I continue to speak words of grace, truth, and love into her life. She is our kid and we love her unconditionally.

Parents buy the lie that if the children are brought up in a home with Christian values, it's guaranteed he or she will hold fast to those standards as adult. I wish that were the case.

But... parents are still responsible to provide a solid foundation. It is our job to honor the Lord in our parenting. Whether or not our children live out those values is... I hate to say it... up to that child.

So...Parents, be aware and advised, it is not too early to talk with your preschoolers about your family's definition of marriage. Because if you don't, Sesame Street will. They already have.

How have you seen the culture bump up against your values? How have you armed your children?

Leaders, Peace Out

Have you ever compared the words, make and keep? Maybe not, but recently I have. Perhaps these words have been milling around in my mind because I need to know how the Lord wants me to proceed in a difficult situation. (Of course I want to keep the peace-but in doing so, is there a cost? Maybe.) I desire to demonstrate God's love, peace, truth, mercy, justice, and compassion. How can this be done in the midst of a potentially "unpeaceful" struggle?

A few weeks ago I wrote a post titled, AHHH and Awe. I recommended 5 tips on how to parent young adults. Here are a few to add:  zip it, offer advice when asked, and allow the young person to own and work out his life choices. I still believe that to be solid advice.

HOWEVER, There are times it is important to step up to the plate and be a Peace-Maker rather than a Peace-Keeper. In fact it is a leadership skill to be developed by both parents and kids. I think we have become confused by what peace looks like and how we achieve it.

I did this little exercise yesterday. I contrasted the words, keep and make. Here's my list of ten comparisons:

Peace Keeper                                               Peace Maker
*place of weakness                                        *place of strength
*motivated by fear                                         *motivated by faith
*passive                                                        *pro-active
*pacify                                                          *protect, defend
*tolerates injustice                                         *stands up to injustice
*status quo                                                   * change
*looks the other way                                     *engages
*rolls over                                                     *stands up
*values silence                                              *values speaking up
*conforms                                                    *transforms

When we keep- we are holding on, maintaining, refraining, and conforming. When we make- we are shaping, creating, causing, changing, and transforming.

Our children are living in a culture that continually challenges and bombards their belief system. Society encourages them to be peace-keepers rather than peace-makers. We need to arm our kids with the tools they need to be leaders. My friend and fellow Mentor Mom from The MOM Initiative, Julie Sanders,wrote an article about raising kids with an urge to lead. She says, Don't rescue or interfere, to build strength and perseverance. Encourage, model, and pray for your child's leadership skills to provide guidance and motivation. Wise counsel.

In your home, value both mercy and justice.Be humble and strong while communicating with family members. Demonstrate how to lead with both truth and grace. Scour Scripture to discover what God has to say on a given topic.

Today, more than ever, our kids need the tools to be a peace-maker. A peace-maker doesn't sit idly by, hoping no one will get upset or feel challenged. A  peace-maker changes the status-quo with love and truth. And don't you agree, the societal status quo could use some transforming?
 

 Leaders are peace-MAKERS. Jesus, the Prince of Peace says, 

Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called sons of God. 

Matthew 5:9

Vegas and Grandma

I hate this saying. (I bet you are thinking, Gee, Lori- tell me how you really feel.) Every time I see this post go up on Facebook, I feel myself getting all fired up! So... I decided to fight back! This (along with that awful VEGAS saying) is one of the worst life philosophies I have heard.

Some of you reading this may think I have gone off the deep end-taking it too far. After all...it's funny, kinda cute. 

In my opinion, it isn't cute, funny, or even harmless. It is dangerous. Why would grandparents want to teach and encourage their grand-kids to withhold experiences and information from their parents? (Frankly the children learn to lie soon enough on their own. It certainly doesn't need to be reinforced by Granny or Pappy.)

Having a sweet relationship with children doesn't need to be covert or deceitful. The grandchild-grandparent is special. It is another place a child can be loved unconditionally. It is also important that the grand-moms and grand-dads remember to support their children in their efforts to raise their children.

So that is my word of recommendation for today. If you have utilized the "What happens at Grandma's" idea before, please rethink your position. Maybe even discuss it with your own adult children.

On the flip side: Parents- lighten up a bit, be a little flexible, and give your folks space to use what I call, The Grandparent Option. Maybe some of the "rules" can be loosened a bit when your kids are with the grandparents.

A relationship doesn't need to be clandestine to be GREAT.

Do not deceive one another. 

Leviticus 19:11c

Lead and Follow

A few weeks ago I attended a retreat for The MOM Initiative (Moms mentoring Moms). In between tubing, eating, snowshoeing, eating, laughing, talking, eating, and shopping the MOM team got busy helping each other with computer techniques and speaking tips. 

We (the thirteen that attended) walked away with more knowledge and motivation than we had when we arrived. We felt encouraged and energized to move forward in the ministry positions to which we have been called. We didn't compare gifting or ministries. 

Assisting each other, passing along information, learning from each other, supporting one another- important in ministry,even more important in parenting. 

I am thankful I had two friends who were just a bit ahead of me in the mom department. Both Lorri and Kathy had four kids- like me. They understood the demands of being a mama to four, close in age. They gave me permission not to do things PERFECTLY. They shared their parenting philosophies, tips, and secrets with me. They reassured me that even when I felt I earned The WORST MOM in the WORLD Award-tomorrow was another day and I could do it differently. (And they were there to help me!)

Look at the families around you. Is there a mom or dad that you would like to bounce ideas off of once in awhile? Or... have you noticed a parent that could use a little support? 

I encourage you to reach out to mentor or ask to be mentored. We need each other's wisdom and experience when it comes to raising kids today.

"You yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another." Romans 15:14 

Choose Blessing or Cursing

Our words can bless or curse. Wound or heal. Build up or tear down.

Words. Are. Powerful.

I came across an article the other day about a seventh grade boy who posted on Instagram he was planning on committing suicide on his birthday. This young boy had been severely bullied. He had been wounded by other students' words and actions.

While being hospitalized for treatment, the boy's mom got an idea. She asked people on Facebook to send her son words of encouragement. He received THOUSANDS of responses. All uplifting and  hopeful. The words of affirmation, affection, and love all made a difference in the boy's perspective on his life and his future.

Healing had begun.

Moms and Dads, our words are powerful. As it says in Hebrews 3:13, "Encourage one another daily." Our kids need to hear words that will be motivating and affirming. And... when you need to guide or correct your child, before speaking ask yourself, "Will my message or its delivery tear down my child?" If so, retrain yourself to offer correction in a way that is not hurtful. Here are three quick tips.

The ABC's of Correction

* Avoid attacking your child's "personhood". Stick to the issue at hand. Seek to resolve the problem.
* Be aware of your nonverbal expressions. Avoid stomping, pointing, and exaggerating gestures.
* Change your tone. Be calm.

Parents, words can bring life....or death. 

What will you choose today?

For the full article on the seventh grade boy click here.

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