A Quiver of Kids

Theme for June: Fathers!

Verse:

"Sons are a heritage from the LORD,  children a reward from him.

 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."

Psalm 127 3-5a

Mom's Musing:

Dads are such an important part of a boys growing up. Dad is the guy who the son looks to for direction and guidance. I recall one time when our family was on an outing with another family and my husband was offered a cigar. I overheard my eight-year-old son say to his seven-year-old sister, "I knew Dad would say no." Our kids are definitely watching us.

A dad's impact on his daughter is no less great but often much more subtle. How he treats his daughter sets in motion the type of man she will look for in a spouse.  One dad I know "dates" his daughter. He opens the car door for her, pulls out her chair, listens to what she has to say. He is deliberately modeling what to expect from a young man. This smart dad is laying the ground work for positive relationships with men for the future. The girl who feels connected to and respected by her dad will look for the same type of healthy relationship with a boy.

Not only does a father impact future relationship choices, he also plays a large role in his daughter's self-worth. One small comment about baby fat, could be the trigger for an eating disorder. A dad that only compliments or acknowledges his daughter's appearance rather than her character or heart may also jump start anorexia, bulimia, or even promiscuity.

Scary, huh? Being a dad carries a lot of responsibility. It is such an important job. One to take seriously. Build relationships with your kids and the respect will follow.  Moms help out your man by supporting his relationships with your children.


Parenting Tip:  Dad guide your son and date your daughter.  Don't just say she looks pretty. Tell her how you love the way she is kind to her friends. Reinforce those desirable character traits. If you don't already know your kid's favorite band, friend, activity, food-find out. Spend time getting to know your child (children).

His Way

Theme for June: Intentional Design

Dear Reader,

In keeping with my blog's tradition of posting my dad's poetry around special days, I chose one that captures Father's Day. Happy Father's Day- Blessings to all the Dads and Daddies.

His Way

Now I understand

Beyond any doubt

that

Wherever we go

Whatever we do

always

We are about

Our Father's business

Amen.

*****

.....Rockman

12/25/95

I miss you, Pops. Thank you for leaving me a legacy of faith.

-Lori

The Screaming Mimi

Wrestle Mania

Theme for June: Fathers!
Verse:

" He is always wrestling in prayer for you,

that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured."

Colossians 4: 12b

Mom's Musing:

When my kids were toddlers and preschoolers, my husband participated with them in impromptu WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) matches in the family room. This was, without question, my least favorite pastime but it was far and away the kids (especially my son's) favorite activity.

I have found lots of moms hate this type of rough housing that seems to be built into every dad's DNA.Often a fear that someone or something will break accompanies the objection to the rough and tumble interaction. Even though I totally relate to the discomfort- I recommend that moms stay out of it and let Dad and kids have at it. (Dads always smile at this advice.)

Little girls and boys alike enjoy rough play with dad but boys are particularly drawn to it. Sons love to match their mettle against Daddy's muscles. Whether dad lets the child win or not isn't an issue.

Developmentally, physically, emotionally, and socially wrestling (controlled wrestling..I just have to say that!) with Dad is a good. Look at what Richard Fletcher, the leader of the Fathers and Families Research Program at the University of Newcastle in Australia, told ABC News.

 "Rough and tumble play between fathers and their young children is part of their development, shaping their children's brain so that their children develop the ability to manage emotions and thinking and physical action altogether," said Fletcher. "This is a key developmental stage for children in that preschool area between the ages of about two and a half and five. That's when children learn to put all those things together." 1

During this play, kids connect with Dad, test out their strength, and problem solve. My four kids would group together for the common sibling good and gang up on Tom. This also served to cement the brother and sisters relationships. They became a team. Sometimes it would be the three girls (not me... I just don't like that type of play...I can't help it.) versus Tom and Jake.

So make room in the house for Wrestle Mania. And- to help keep Mom sane-keep a timer on hand to bring the match to an end. Then everyone is happy.

Parenting Tip: 

Set up a safe place and a good time (not after a meal or right before bed) for kid/Dad wrestling. Use a timer to indicate the beginning and ending time of the wrestling match. Wrestling doesn't start until the timer says so. Once the timer rings a second time - the rough play needs to cease. This is one way to help develop self-control or behavior regulation in your child. If the fun turns mean-stop.

1. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/dads-roughhousing-children-crucial-early-development/story?id=13868801

Follow the Leader

Theme for June: Fathers!
Verse:

"But as for me and my household we will serve the LORD."

Joshua 24:15b

Mom's Musing:

It seems appropriate to celebrate  Dad's important role in the family for the month of June. In Scripture we can read the commands given to fathers regarding their role in the family. The ideal dad is the spiritual leader (Josh. 24:15), holds a position of authority in the family (Deut. 32:7), teaches his children ( Proverbs 1:8), provides financially (Matthew 6:25-34), and  seeks Jesus for the needs of his kids (Matthew 17:14-18).

The Bible presents the role of father as one that carries a sense of dignity and great worth. Our modern culture down plays the critical role of the dad. Being a father is an honor the Lord gives a man. An honor that carries with it a load of responsibility. I guess that's why respect is so important to men. 

So... wives (the dads are going to love me for this!) what do you do to build up your husband in the eyes of his children? Do you demonstrate respect for him-even in the midst of a disagreement? I have to say I have failed more often than I've done it right. I was blown away by a friend of mine when she said she  never sides with the kids over her husband, until they are behind closed doors. She knows the proper time and place for a "conversation".  Wise wife, good mom. Great model for her daughters (and for me).

Dads are you behaving in a way that shows you value your God -given role? Are you leading your family in spiritual matters? Do you use your authority in a loving way? Do you take time to instruct your children? Are you providing for your family? Do you pray for your children?

The role of dad is a  hard one. Wives do everything you can to support and encourage your husband in his role as a father.

Parenting Tip:
The tip today is more of a spouse tip. Wives stop what you are doing and greet your husband when he arrives home. When he has taken care of something on the "honey do" list encourage him. Support him in his efforts to lead the family.