Now What?

So mom...your kids are back to school. That definitely changes the day. Have you figured out your new schedule yet? Before it gets too full with volunteering, let me toss out a few ideas for consideration.
Prior to signing your life away on the volunteer sheet-think about what you really enjoy. Ask yourself these questions:
1. Do I like working directly with the kids?
2.Do I prefer to support the school in a more clerical manner?
3. Do I like committee work or would I enjoy running a committee?
4. Is supervising or planning a field trip more up my alley?
5. Do I enjoy planning and running the classroom parties?
6. Would I rather make or purchase party treats or favors?
7. What type of volunteering fits into my daily life?

For moms of the younger kids...here is a recommendation. Don't do everything. Pick and choose. There are many opportunities at the elementary level to get involved.(Seasoned moms know this!)Then all moms...listen up!
Set aside time for your own personal development.
Join an exercise class, a bible study, or book club. Maybe even do a new activity with a friend. Begin nurturing those neglected female friendships. These endeavors are not selfish. They are actually good for a woman's mental and emotional well-being. Men typically appreciate it when their wives discuss things at length with girlfriends and then later receive the cliff notes. Women tend to explore the details surrounding things but men...not so much. I recall one time I was relaying a story to my husband, I stopped to take a breath-and he thought I was done. (I was just getting warmed up!) My girlfriends will participate in the dissection of an event. My husband  doesn't appreciate that form of  communication. He prefers  to move into problem solving mode immediately. I am a better wife when I have friends.
Female friendships among women are good for the soul and the marriage.

Be deliberate and not over zealous in your volunteering at school. Make some intentional choices to care for yourself and your marriage.

"A sweet friendship refreshes the soul."

Proverbs 27:9 The Message

Have you been in the  position of over-extending yourself? How did you learn to say no?

Summertime to School time

Getting ready for school!

College Bound

This post will go out a few days after we move our youngest to college.
 Four hours away.Two Hundred and forty minutes. No more last minute shopping trips, lunches, hikes. No more late night gab sessions on her bed. No more impromptu belly laughing moments at goofy YouTube videos. I'm going to miss Kendra a lot.

People have said to me, "Oh, it will be easy this time. You have been through it three other times." Well...because I've been through it three other times, I can say with certainty, "It won't be easy. A big piece of my heart will stay behind in Grand Junction, Colorado."

Each time a family member leaves, a hole is left. No one else can fill that special spot in the family. I love being a mom and my heart bursts with joy when all my kids are around. (Okay... there are those times my heart breaks from choices they have made but overall life is best ...not perfect but best ...when my family is together.)

Experience hasn't harden my heart to good-by but it has taught me how to respond to this transition.
So since this is kid number four I'll pass along what I have learned.

1. Don't call everyday crying (Yep, I did that to kid number 1.)
2. Wait for your child to call first (experts always recommend this- I still haven't been able to do it but I do resist the urge to phone daily. I shoot for 1-3 times a week.)
3. Ask about classes, homework, schedule, friends. Make a mental note to remember the details-like names of friends.
4. Visit on family weekend and not before. The child needs time to adjust.
5. Listen but try not to feed into or take on the negative attitudes or emotions about the school. Many kids think they should transfer before 1st semester is even done. Encourage your child to hang in there and stay  the entire freshman year at the same place.
6. When your young adult returns home for vacations, there will be a readjustment. Remember, the college student has been making many decisions on his own and setting up his own schedule. Try to respect that. Also the student is reentering family life as he crosses the threshold. Consideration and respect for the family routine is important. Talk about specific expectations on both parts so the time at home is pleasant.

Once again I am going to attempt to focus on the upcoming and exciting things God has in store for my child. And when I feel very sorry for myself, I will praise God that he has blessed me with some great but not perfect kids.

"Love never fails" 

1 Corinthians 13:8

Please share some of the ways you have coped with a child going off to college. What has been the most difficult for you?

Back to School Angst and 7 Antidotes

Sleepless nights, irritability, and tears are all typical responses to the transition from summer to school. (I'm referring to the children in this article, although moms have been known to have similar symptoms!)

How can we help our children adjust to the back to school routine and build confidence in their ability to handle the new situation? There are a number of ways we can encourage back to school success and reduce the symptoms of-what I call- school-itis.

1.  Describe your feelings as a child about going back to school to normalize your kid's fears.
(I would tell my children that when I was teaching, I would feel first day anxiety too)
2. Avoid getting caught up in your child's emotional state. Let his feelings be his. Maintain a calm demeanor.
3.  For your youngster, go to the school (if allowed), walk the halls, and let the kids explore the playground. My co-author, Becky Danielson ,recommends doing a drop off dry run. Locate the classroom from the bus or car pool drop off point. Noting landmarks along the way (the library, office, etc.)
4. Take your middle or high school student to school (if permitted) to locate his classrooms and locker. Have him practice unlocking his locker-it can be tricky!
5. Encourage your older kids to connect with another student, so they can meet up for lunch on that first day.
6. Have a very positive attitude about the upcoming school year. Express confidence in your child's ability to handle the situation. This will transfer nicely to your child's view of himself and his circumstances. If the parent communicates to the child he is capable, the child will be more confident and then more successful.
7. Most importantly pray. Pray for and with your child for a smooth transition. Before my kids would leave the house I would give them the Aaronic blessing:  "May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; may the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace" (found in Numbers 6: 24-26).

I pray you and your child will have a blessed first day of school.

I would love to have you share the things you do to ease the back to school blues.

Three Dreaded Words and Seven Ways to Deal

August hits and wham -those dreaded three words are everywhere! Back to School. Three words that are the cause of a mom's stomach ache and headache. Visions of paper work and a suddenly crowded calendar invade the mother's mind.

Summer flexibility is abruptly replaced by fall schedules.

It isn't as if I  don't know it's coming. But for some reason it tends to sneak up on me. (Sort of like how Thanksgiving suddenly appears.) There have been times, I have felt as if getting back into the routine is a good thing. But I never have that feeling  until I have made great strides in completing that humongous to do list that accompanies the beginning of the school year.

So I found a few ways to streamline the overwhelming process. (One mom told me she began hyper ventilating when she received all the school paperwork to be completed and she one child.)
1. Don't procrastinate. As soon as the paperwork comes get on it. Fill out all the children's sheets at the same time. Pull out all the pertinent information before working on the forms.Typical things most schools need: doctor name and  phone number, preferred hospital, insurance information, emergency contacts (I only write down cell or home numbers never the address. No point.)
2. Complete all athletic and participation forms immediately. Many need a doctor's signature and sometimes that takes a little turn around time.
3. If you are able, schedule your child's well-check in the summer and bring the forms along. Then you will have accomplished two tasks at once.
4. Shop at home first. See what school supplies can be recycled, reused, and look for unused leftovers from previous years. Often expensive calculators and books on the required reading list can be passed down from one sibling to another.
5. Make school shopping an event. Let each child push his own cart or carry his own basket. Give specific instructions regarding your B2S budget.
6. Label supplies right after shopping. When you arrive home and the kids are still excited about their new supplies, have them label each item. Unless they don't know how to write yet, this is a good thing for the children to do. It frees up the parent and makes the students responsible for their things.
7. Finish by organizing backpacks.Then have the kids go ahead and load their backpacks.

Getting the kids involved in some of the process makes it more fun, increases the sense of ownership, and helps to psychologically prepare them for going back to school.

After you have accomplished these items the headache and stomach aches will disappear and you will be able to enjoy the last couple of weeks of summer break with your kids.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
Proverbs 31:25d

  Your Turn: How do you beat the back to school scramble?