Rotten Apples

Shriveled. Spoiled. Stinky. I'll bet if the fruit in the Garden looked like this, Eve would of been able to resist. Bad fruit. I don't want to touch it much less eat it. If I was a farmer I wouldn't want to produce it.

Bad fruit is definitely something to be avoided!

When Tom and I lived in San Diego we had a lemon tree, lime tree, grapefruit tree, and a strawberry patch. I must fess up...the previous owners did the planting but if I wanted my little family to reap the benefits, I needed to learn how to encourage healthy plant growth.

Watering, fertilizing, trimming, weeding, and properly picking the fruit were all part of the process. It was pretty cool to be able to go out my backdoor and grab a lemon when a recipe called for one!

We had good fresh fruit.

As parents we want to produce good fruit in our kids. The trouble is we often zero in on the bad fruit. We  know what sort of behavior we don't want to see in our kids: lying, cheating, stealing, hitting, and swearing. (Feel free to add your own thoughts here!) But what do we want?

The best way to get rid of the rotten fruit and grow some great fruit is to cultivate the desired character trait. So..how is this done?

1. Identify what you don't want. (meanness)
2. Identify what you do want. (kindness)
3. Pray God replaces the undesired behavior with the preferred trait. (meanness replaced by kindness)
4. Model the behavior and attitude. (show kindness)
5. Talk about the trait. (Did you see how that man helped the elderly woman? He showed a lot of
    kindness.)
6. Provide opportunities for your child.(open the door for another)
7. Reinforce the desired action. (I sure appreciated the kindness you showed me when you helped carry the groceries.)

We don't want kids with shriveled, spoiled, and stinky attitudes. So we must be proactive and intentional in training our kids so they can develop some really great fruit.

The fruit of the spirit is

love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Galatians 5:22

What behaviors and attitudes do you want to extinguish? What training techniques have worked for you?

Our Thanksgiving Bread

Pops loved tradition. So in honor of my earthly father and in keeping with the tradition of my blog, here is a prayer-poem written by my dad. To my Heavenly Father be the glory!

Oh bread of heaven feed my hungry soul with.....

OUR THANKSGIVING BREAD

And now we break this bread together

Father be with us here today

Make our lives Your home forever

In dear Jesus name we pray

Thank You for all You've given us

And on this blest Thanksgiving day

Thank You for Your gift of Jesus

Given to guide our earthly way

Such a gift beyond all human knowing

We are humbled in His sight

To live our lives like cancles glowing

Our purpose to reflect His light

So now we start but without merit

Father please show us Your way

Grant us Your grace that we inherit

Christ our bread this Thanksgiving day

Amen.

******

......Rockman 11/28/96

Thanksgiving Day

Miss you, Pops. 

~Lori

Who's Your Mama

In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ.

 Ephesians 5a

I really hate TV shows and books that are about an adopted child being reunited with his biological parent. The stories tend to reinforce an adopted child's fantasy that all will be well once the biological parents are found. But mostly I am turned off by these accounts because I feel a little threatened.

Since I was in third grade, I knew two things. I wanted to be a teacher and I wanted to be a mom. I went to school, graduated, and got a teaching job. I got married, tried to get pregnant, and didn’t. For four years I went through the long and emotionally draining experience of infertility treatments.

My husband Tom and I had pictured a life with four kids with our last being adopted. God’s plan was different. In His great wisdom he had us adopt first-from Colombia- and then I gave birth to three other kids.

I have always jealously guarded my role as a mom.

I bristled when people asked me about Courtney’s real mom or said, Once you adopt I heard you get pregnant. All insensitive comments. I wanted to shout, “I’m her real mom and whether or not I carried her in my body or in my heart makes no difference.” That is true. True… for me.

I’ve come to realize my feelings are not the only important feelings in this adoption journey. (What do you know… it isn’t all about me!) The fact that I did not birth Courtney matters to her. It matters to her because she had a life before she was adopted. She has a history in which I’m not a part. Sure, her birth mom chose to make an adoption plan, Tom and I decided to adopt. But… no one asked Courtney.

The adopted child is the only one powerless in the adoption. Adoption is not only about joining another family, it is also about abandonment.

Courtney has told me she has a hole in her heart that won’t go away. I can’t fix my daughter’s wound. Finding her Colombian birth mom would be very difficult, but even if we were successful, I’m afraid the hole would remain.

The only way to fill that hole is with God and His love for His children.

Tom and I have always been honest with Courtney about her story and have done our best to give unconditional love to all our kids. We remind her that adoption is precious in God’s sight. So valued that he considers all of us his adopted kids. So we will continue to love and support her. And…we (by we- I mean me) will try to understand her struggles rather than take them personally. This is her journey of faith and discovery- and I am her mom. Always.

Has your life been touched in someway by adoption? I would love to hear how.

See the Son

“They just got a new house.” “Her husband surprised her with a trip for their anniversary.” “She just found out she’s pregnant.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a bitter person. I’m sincerely happy for people when good things come their way. But when times in my life are more of a struggle than a blessing-I wonder, “When is it my turn?”

That thought has the potential to morph into self-focused pity; the feeling of not being able to get out of bed or not wanting to open the blinds to let in the sun.

But…God has shown me how to open my blind eyes and let in the Son.

 Praise.

Praise God when you don’t feel like it. In the book the Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom talks about being a prisoner during World War II.  Corrie’s sister, Betsy, tells her to be thankful in all circumstances. Sarcastically, Corrie says she’s going to thank God for the lice. As it turns out, the insects had a purpose. Corrie and her sister were able to hold a Bible study in the German prison camp because the pests prevented the guards from entering the barracks.

I have found my lice-filled, heartbreaking situation may not change but when my focus is readjusted my thought process is transformed. 

I can do this with God’s help…but it isn’t easy.

When the enemy gets God’s people to only see ourselves in comparison to others, our joy is stolen. Enough of that! Are you with me? Grab it back! Praise God for who He is. Thank Him for what He has done. Choose to see the many blessings in front of you and respond with a grateful heart. Life is full of unexpected challenges and blessings. During those times that are consumed with disappointment, first honestly cry out and then start praising God.

Praise is the best offensive weapon against despair.

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4: 6-7

How have you dealt with life’s disappointments? How have those disappointments affected your relationships with the Lord?